September 6, 2011

Withdrawal symptoms of a new kind

Apparently, both Anna Hazare and Team Anna (they are two different entities) have been diagnosed with a new disorder affecting their normal functioning. Times Trends has reported that both the groups are hale and hearty physically, but all of them reported a funny gut feel - all of them were not able to eat their two square meals fully and had nightmares of Diggy, Kapil, Salman, Ramdev etc.. plotting against them.

After subjecting them to a battery of tests, using sophisticated instrumentations, the doctors, on question of anonymity, have inferred and delivered their confidential prognosis. After some cajoling (read bribingJ), a news anchor proudly announced that they have a scoop, the only channel to obtain the confidential report on Team Anna's health... and we had to wait for a 2 minute commercial break! On resuming the story, we were told that all of them are suffering from a very rare withdrawal disorder, post their anti-corruption campaign. Having been under the arc lights 24/7, negotiating and doing street plays, etc for more than 2 weeks, they now faced the ignominy of fading from the front page on newspapers and news channels.

Apparently, doctors have advised each of them to stay away from each other's company and get back to their old ways of leading normal lives. This has reportedly not gone down very well with Team Anna and they can actually smell a rat. I heard that a press conference is in the offing within 2/3 days (they are waiting for a new picture of Gandhiji to be ready as a backdrop) where Team Anna will explain how the government has bribed and corrupted the doctors treating them.

Apparently, the main opposition party have got wind of the impending press meet and have offered a set of doctors, certified by Advani and Modi. Meanwhile, Team Anna sympathisers and facebookers have offered their own free advice - some of them have suggested that they start a new campaign on land acquisition bill, another has asked Team Anna to start a campaign on using ONLY renewable energy - solar, gobar gas, windmills etc. An ardent Team Anna and Facebook fan has requested that the Team start a campaign to thwart an Anonymous group's plan to kill Facebook on November 5, 2011.

I guess we Indians have no respite from campaigns for the next few years!!

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