Mumbai to be renamed Shipumbai

Apparently, there is another ship drifting towards the Mumbai Coast! This is going to be the third in as many months. What could the reason be? Media don't seem interested, as on date. Who should the concerned citizens go for help? Somebody came to me and asked for suggestions. I was quite blank but not one to look dumb, I managed, "Well, err, make a list of names who will not show any interest and then you end up with the right person". I thought that was a decent answer but nay, he persisted, "make the list for me".

 

As I had pretty nothing much to do on that Sunday evening, I said, "Lets see, let me jott some names randomly - Times Now, Anna Hazare, Baba Ramdev, the Supreme Court, CAG, PAC, Lok Sabha, Rajya Sabha, The Hindu, Ministry of Shipping, Barack Obama, Greenpeace, Kapil Sibal, Digvijay Singh, Subramanium Swamy, ED, Home Ministry, IB, perhaps?" "Why not some prominent Mumbaikars like Udhav Thackeray, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Lata Mangeshkar, or Mukesh Ambani?"

 

I could see the enthusiasm levels fall dramatically in my friend and he was probably wondering why he had asked me for help.... Not to let him off so easily, I had after all by now, gotten deep into the thick of things... I continued, "the Civil Society (not the one led by Anna) does not feature in this exhaustive list and is probably the right forum," I declared triumphantly...

 

The Civil Society was called in and was asked to prepare a detailed report on why ships were drifting towards the coastline, ever so often. They were asked to look at an obvious Paki hand, whether some money was getting pumped out through these ships, whether this was Mukesh Ambani's plan to get in oil to India, etc. etc. Or is the Home Ministry working through these ships since they are all at sea, anyway. Since no media showed any interest in this activity, the civil society was asked to look at collusion with media and politicians. A strict two month deadline was offered and the civil society went to work. They toiled hard and took their brief very seriously. And their findings took everyone by surprise. They said that the ships like the friendly Mumbai coast and gave a clean chit to everybodyJ. They ended their 786 page report by recommending a name change for the city to Shipumbai!